I am terrible at giving myself a break. Even when I do, I struggle with feeling guilty, especially when it comes to being Kiran’s mom. So much pressure is placed upon me for his needs, his skill progression, his happiness, his health. And I feel it, constantly.
We took the last two weeks completely off – Kiran is on school break, so I also canceled all his private therapies.
We have watched a lot of TV. We have snuggled up and read books and sang songs. We have played with toys and I only occasionally worry specifically about incorporating therapy skills practice while doing it. We still practice walking daily, but not always with the walker and not as a focused goal. Kiran has gone to bed late on more than one occasion.
Why is all of that so hard for me? Eric and I had an entire conversation last night, because I admitted I feel like a terrible mother these past few weeks. I am so worried he will have fallen behind with his skills taking these two weeks off. I have pushed ahead with the rest, because I also feel like he needed the break (and so did his mama). But I worry. I feel intense guilt. Did I mention I worry? I worry hard.
I also don’t look forward to getting back to his intense schedule next week.