Forward Steps

It has been both a really, really good week … and an overwhelming one. Kiran went back to in-person therapies at Childserve. Both days wore him out completely (and me, too). I knew that it would be important for both him and me to ease our way back into the world, for many reasons.

It’s been a year.

A big decision was made this week. After one more session next week with the beloved physical therapist he has been working with since he was just over a year old, Kiran will be taking (at least) a three month break from physical therapy. He has been working SO HARD for over four years, and hitting the walking milestone has been a huge accomplishment. She wants us to just let him walk and walk and walk – and really enjoy and understand this new mobility. And increase endurance. Other than that, the only home programming she wants us to continue is standing practice. Otherwise, we have been very firmly instructed to let him have a break.

I am beyond proud of my boy.

My logistics brain has not stopped running in circles since the day he walked last week. I am now thinking through all of the different scenarios and when it will be appropriate to take the pacer and when he will need the wheelchair – and when he needs both. Both is no easy feat. I did figure out safely transporting everything in my vehicle, because we needed both pieces of equipment for therapies yesterday, but it involves taking the wheelchair completely apart, and I can’t have anyone else in the car besides him and me.

Kiran continues to keep me on my toes. I can’t help but continue to grow, being his mama.

I am still experiencing minor disbelief that he is able to move independently with his pacer. I knew (I hoped) he would get there, but I had no idea it would happen so abruptly. So much of his progress has been in tiny steps, blurring the ability to really say “On this day, Kiran accomplished this.” But this was truly like a switch got flipped and the stars aligned, and his body and brain said “It’s go time! Let’s do this!!!” … and he hasn’t stopped being proud.

And I am pretty sure I will never stop being proud.

Now, we continue on. It’s exciting that now when I say “It’s a long road ahead, but we journey together”, I get to actually journey BESIDE my boy. He can take his own steps now, and I get to walk alongside him.

This year holds a lot for us. The challenges looming are plentiful, and I never pretend anymore to have any idea where we will be at year’s end. But I’m showing up for it. I’m here. And so is he. Working harder than ever. Moving forward, together.

Milestone

I think maybe it just hit me, because a comment I read on facebook from a former therapist of Kiran’s just made me burst into tears … my boy walked today.

He walked in his Pacer – the gait trainer that has been sitting in my den for the past several months, because we have been working with a walker and the Kidwalk (which is another style of gait trainer). I was getting ready to take the Pacer back to where it came from, but I hadn’t found the time. For the first time in over a year, his school PT came over for an in-person session, mainly to make some adjustments to the Kidwalk. She essentially said “Hey, if the Pacer is somewhere easy to get to, let’s just try it….”

And something for Kiran just…clicked.

I really believe that the independent movement Kiran experienced with the Kidwalk helped. I really believe that the timing was what it was. His PT made some adjustments to the Pacer that helped him move it forward. Placement in the driveway, right where there was a tiny downhill slope (like, really tiny) helped him get going. Once he experienced it, he kept walking! Little tiny uphill the other direction on the driveway and down the sidewalk. And in the hallway inside. All of it.

He was walking, independently, with the help of a mobility device. The independence is the biggest thing for me, as his mom. And I could tell he was so proud of himself, which just filled my heart.

My. Boy. Is. Walking.

Prior to today, the only milestone I have noted for him is the first time we heard his laugh. I have it in my “Special Days” calendar in my phone, and it repeats every year. Today, I put a second milestone in that calendar, set to remind me every year.

Today, April 7th, 2021, my boy walked.

I am in shock and in awe and so so so so SO proud of him.