Three weeks from today, Kiran has his first day of preschool.

Told you I’d be coming right back to this.

I’m not ready.

I did a preliminary fill-in of his GIANT registration packet today.  As soon as I put the pile off to the side, I am telling you, I was on the verge of a panic attack.  I have had only one in my life, but this felt like it came close to a second one.

How the heck am I going to get through day one?

I keep holding back tears and trying to distract myself.  I KNOW it’s the absolute right, best, most amazing decision we could make for Kiran.  I know he will thrive in the social environment, and he will grow in ways he wouldn’t if he didn’t start now.

I should have had more babysitters.  I should have trained everyone I met on the street how to feed Kiran and care for him.  I should have practiced this more.

Are there room mothers in preschool?  Daily volunteers, perhaps?

I’m not ready.  I don’t foresee being ready in three weeks, either.