The Why

I have been asked a few times if I am asking myself the question “Why?”  Why does my baby have to have a heart abnormality?  Why am I being put in a position to begin a very long and difficult journey?  Why can’t he just be healthy?  Why me?

Honestly, I learned a long time ago that it is fruitless to ask these questions.  Life is life.  No one ever promised it would be easy or worry-free.  I have been through enough of life in my 31 years to know it can be very unexpected, in both good ways and bad.  I don’t waste time with the Why-me, Woe-is-me crap.  (Not that I NEVER have a day full of self-pity; I do – it’s just the exception and not the rule.)

And – my intellectual mind looks around at all of the friends and acquaintances I have watched bring babies into this world over the last decade – not one of them has had a heart abnormality.  1 in 100 babies is born with a congenital heart defect.  1 in 100.  It is a lot more than you might expect.  Statistically speaking, it’s me.  My baby is the 1 in 100.  It’s just life.

Jalebi, today I’m going to have a Dairy Queen blizzard for you.  Not only because you seem to make me always crave ice cream, but because today, they give back to the hospitals that will hopefully give you the miracle of life.  I know you, too, will have days where you wonder “Why me?” … but I hope we are able to teach you to be deeply, truly grateful for every single day of the crazy, joyous, heart-breaking reality of life.




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