Every once in awhile, I get myself caught up in a spiral of trying to figure out future solutions for Kiran’s needs. It gets overwhelming and frustrating, and mornings like this one, I just end up – well – pissed.

On our journey home from appointments this past week, Kiran needed a restroom. There are times his situation requires a full wardrobe change, and, inevitably, this often happens NOT near the rest area that has the adult size adjustable changing table. It has been awhile since this has happened to us, and today’s facebook memory which prompted my solution-finding frenzy was the one from a year ago about that new accommodation.

I love that we are moving in the right direction and there is one rest area between Des Moines and Iowa City with a dignified, comfortable space for disabled loved ones to have their restroom needs tended to…but it’s not enough.

I opted for a basic kindermat with pillow. That’s the best solution I could find. The foldable travel cots were either only so long as Kiran would grow out of them within the year…or way too long to fit inside an accessible bathroom stall. So, I found a solution for Kiran’s comfort and to get him off the nasty rest area floor…but not a solution that’s going to help my back.

And now, this has put me on a quest for a swim diaper for this summer. I thought I had found a great solution someone suggested for reusable ones, until I saw the price tag. Ten for $300. Sigh.

Why is it so hard to find what we need for our kiddos? Why aren’t companies stepping up when there is such a need for families? And why why WHY does everything deemed “special needs” have to include such an exorbitant price tag!?!

When the world isn’t made for disabled kids, the responsibility to find solutions is placed on the caregivers. And that sucks, because we are already exhausted and overwhelmed.