This illness has solidified my suspicion that Kiran has never dealt with flu before. It’s rough. He’s had his flu shot already this year, and he’s on Tamiflu due to his underlying heart condition. Still, he’s waking several times a night, coughs are rough, energy low, and you can just tell he’s not feeling well. I’d imagine some of the minor body aches I am feeling today (he always shares with his mama, sweet boy) is nothing compared to how he’s been feeling.

He remains fever free, and he is very slowly – more slowly than I’d like – seemingly getting better. He requires fewer doses of Tylenol to stay comfortable and is waking up fewer times each night (twice last night versus four times the night prior).

It still amazes me how much he has changed from when he was an infant. He never wanted physical comfort back then – if he was frustrated or not feeling well, he wanted space. Now, he wants to be attached to me and pulls me closer and closer.

I’m touched out. I don’t feel 100% myself. Today has been particularly difficult because of the logistics in our house – people are still in and out all day long, working on the bathroom; the poor dog who had to be kenneled while bathroom was being worked on has way too much energy despite a few walks today; Chef Eric is as busy as he’s ever been preparing for all the Thanksgiving meal items he’s sold.

I am still thankful. Both can be true. I am completely overwhelmed and exhausted – and so thankful. I am thankful pneumonia hasn’t developed. I am thankful he is able to recover at home. I am thankful we are together. I am thankful I worked so hard to get to a place with school that I could just focus on Kiran and his recovery this week.

I have had a couple of friends drop off little care packages – toys/activities to keep Kiran entertained, and even some chocolate/flowers for me. I am humbled and thankful people think about our family. I am realizing the friendships I am building are becoming the ones I have always hoped for.

This fall has been a trying time for our family. It seems, though I disagree, I needed to strengthen my resilience by practicing. A LOT. I am struggling with living inside survival mode for so long again.

But I know this will pass. It always does. There will be the other side. No matter what, I’m still standing. My family is together, and we are determined to build the life we want, despite the unexpected circumstances we have found ourselves in.

And I haven’t dropped out of grad school. Yet. 😅

It’s a long road ahead, but we journey together. If the last few years have taught me anything, it’s the importance of who you invite along on your journey – and it’s equally important to pay attention to the ones who only join when the path is easy.