Kiran had an appointment last Wednesday with his orthopedic doctor in Iowa City. Feet are looking good, and it was an uneventful trip …

Until it wasn’t.

My dad drove us – this is our usual routine – and on the way home, we hit a deer on the freeway.

We are all okay. I have replayed every alternative scenario in my head at least one thousand times since it occurred, and there are so many ways we could have really been not okay. Thankfully, it was an adolescent deer and the way we hit didn’t cause much jarring inside the car at all. Thankfully, my dad is an outstanding driver who was aware of our surroundings and knew it was safe to brake but not to swerve, so no other vehicles were involved in the collision. He was also able to expertly guide the car to the side of the freeway before the engine gave out.

I am beyond thankful that we are all okay. I am thankful we were able to be safely rescued off the side of the freeway, and the car got towed back to town. I am thankful I have good insurance.

I am so bad at allowing myself to be upset, though. And I’m trying to remind myself I can both be so thankful and also so overwhelmed and bummed at a sucky situation.

My car is almost certainly totaled, according to the auto body shop. I haven’t gotten final word from my insurance company on that yet, but my guess is, with its age and mileage, they will follow the fact it hit the “total threshold” as it was put to me.

As with everything else lately, we had a solid plan in place on the timing of our next vehicle purchase. A solid financial plan that I felt comfortable with and good about. And now I have been thrown into a situation where I have to move quickly and make a decision now.

When it rains, it pours, and so many other things occurred at the end of last week that has made life just feel completely overwhelming. I am beyond tired.

But. Moving forward with a new vehicle for Kiran’s ever-developing needs isn’t such a bad thing. Now that he is using his pacer, it will be nice to have a vehicle that fits both the pacer and his wheelchair without having to take the wheelchair all the way apart. As for everything else, well, I just have to keep moving forward for Kiran.

Every decision I make, in every situation, with every person, is made with Kiran in mind. I will continue to keep his best interest at the forefront as we find a path forward.

This, too, shall pass.

But it still all sucks.