Here’s some real talk, on a random Wednesday, almost a year into a pandemic.

I’m weepy today. I don’t know why. I have been in a funk all afternoon and on the verge of tears.

So. I did a few things to try and take care of myself.

1) I sat down and made a proposed plan of Kiran’s re-entry (and mine) into the world. It is proposed because I don’t get to make the decision alone, but I feel good about what I came up with, timeline and all. I am so ready and cautiously optimistic the numbers will stay low.

2) I sat down with Kiran and watched Daniel Tiger while snuggling. This isn’t necessarily something new – we try to make time most days at 3:30 for good ole Daniel, but sometimes I don’t stop and sit and be.

3) I texted Eric and asked him to pick up Totino’s pizza because we are watching Ghostbusters tonight. If I could have made it happen on my brother’s birthday, I would have. But it seemed I needed to stop and honor and celebrate him. So we will tonight.

I haven’t written a lot lately for many reasons, but the truth is: This has been a really difficult season for me. Many factors play into the fact that this fall/winter has been one of the most challenging times in my life. I am working toward spring in my heart and in my mind. I haven’t lost hope. One step at a time, always.