He Chooses Us

I learned at Kiran’s annual care meeting on Tuesday afternoon there is a new push throughout the healthcare industry to make the standard max for lifting a child, for transfer or mobility, without help from equipment, to 35 lbs.  Industry standard was 50 lbs.

And it is also fairly new that two person lifts are no longer deemed safe within the industry, so it means a mechanical assist will be needed.

35 lbs. means sometime in the next year, versus 50 lbs meaning a few years off.

I take this news in and I hold it for awhile.  Kinda push it down.  I don’t blurt it out until last night, when my parents, Eric, and I were discussing something else on the topic of long-term Kiran care.

Here is what just hit me: Eric always takes this stuff in stride.  Maybe it’s because he is being the strong, supportive type – at least maybe that’s part of it.  But what just occurred to me is this: He has always known what he signed up for.  He doesn’t have to grapple with any of the emotions I have had to grapple with all along: the dashed dreams, the grief of the child I always wanted, the diagnosis upon diagnosis when I thought he “just” had a heart issue.

I mean, he’s been along for the ride for most of Kiran’s life.  But he didn’t come into our relationship with any misconceptions about what he was getting into.  Kiran is Kiran is Kiran, and he knows it.

I can’t fathom choosing the life of caregiving – or even choosing the life of being a primary support for a person whose life is caregiving – but I’m glad he chooses us.

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