Kiran and I have been working on rolling a ball back and forth for awhile now. Not in any intensive way, but I have been trying to teach him. One of the days this week at PT, they worked on it with him as well. This motivated me to be more intentional about practicing with him every day. Today, he was REALLY starting to get it! He rolled the ball to me several times, and for perhaps the first time ever, I really felt like I was playing a game with my son!
It filled me to overflowing. He was so proud of himself, and we were both laughing and having a wonderful time.
For a moment, a flashback came to me, about the very first little boy I nannied full-time. I remembered this being a game I loved to play with him … at around six months old.
And for some reason, I realized at that point: I have a choice right now. I can choose to grieve and be sad it took Kiran this long to get the hang of rolling a ball. Or I can choose celebration and be joyful that he is here, getting it now.
I am not always capable of choosing joy. Many times, the sadness needs to have its space. Today, however, I was able to celebrate.
The choice is always there.