I spend all of my time writing about what is different about Kiran’s care – how motherhood, for me, is far from what I expected. And it is. A lot of the aspects of daily life are very different than if he were a healthy boy.
This morning, however, I was reminded: I get the regular baby stuff too. I get the mornings when I give him his bath first thing and am feeling so accomplished…and then, not only does he cough and throw up most of his rice cereal at breakfast, but he also proceeds to have a major blowout. And, like any regular mom of a regular baby, I wonder: Why do I even bother with the baths!?!
I get the parties at 2 a.m., when I am begging him to please just go to sleep because Mommy is tired and his 6 a.m. party is only four hours away.
I get the hair pulling, the punching, the constant beating up.
I love the regular stuff. I don’t think about it as much – but it is there. It is true when you have a fragile child, your perspective is different…but it doesn’t make me an angel. I am still human. I still get sleep-deprived and frustrated by the regular stuff. Blowouts aren’t cute. And sometimes I can keep my perspective and cherish the middle-of-the-night bash, but sometimes I can’t.
Today – right now – now that he is cleaned up and sleeping peacefully – I am cherishing it. All of it. Every hair pull, nasty diaper change, early morning vomit….
I am just thankful for the regular stuff today.