I am trying to trust the process. Desperately trying to trust the process. The panic is rising, from the bottom of my stomach clear up to my throat. I feel like I am shaking, though physically, I am not. Panic.
December 7th. That is the first MAPCA surgery date Dr. Hanley has available. I knew he scheduled out far in advance, but I wasn’t prepared to hear that date.
Of course, I asked the question: My son is going to need surgery before then; what happens when he needs surgery? And I was reassured: Dr. Hanley will review his case, and he will move patients around as necessary.
Trust the process. I have had to trust it so far; I need to continue to trust. Right?
The most frustrating thing about this? I still can’t plan. We still don’t have an actual surgery date. There is no way Kiran will remain clinically stable until December. So, we are still in a state of limbo. This will slowly drive me insane; of this, I am sure.