I have noticed – in my daily postings for CHD awareness this month – an overlay of despair. There is a grey tinge, a negativity shrouding almost every post I make.
It isn’t usually this way. I usually try to make it a more comfortable story for the outsider. I try to point out the silver linings, wrap it all up in a neat, tidy bow, to make the journey our family has been on more palatable to the general public.
I *want* people to see the sunshine that shines from Kiran’s very core. And I want to be the kind of mom/caregiver/person that can pocket that sunshine in every circumstance.
But I’m also bringing forward my word from last year: authenticity. I am really trying to stop camouflaging my feelings. I’m tired of being small and tidy.
It’s a practice I am doing not just publicly but within my own self. It has been challenging me, this year, to look at some of these photos and share about some of these times. Partly because I am not pretending with myself either – and probably largely because I know another heart intervention is coming.
I welcome the freedom and catharsis I have recently regained in being able to share more authentically and write what’s in my heart fully.