This year is starting with illness.  The holidays and our St. Louis trip really wore me down, and Kiran can only sneeze and cough in my face so many times before I’m bound to catch his cold.  I continue to be amazed at how much of a trooper he is, given how he must have been feeling during our trip.  That boy is tough as nails.

My facebook post regarding the new year included the following: May 2020 bring enough joy to balance the sorrow, enough peace to balance the chaos, and enough experience to facilitate growth.

I’ve experienced many years at this point, so I think that’s a pretty safe wish to bestow upon others.  Because the year will bring sorrow and it will bring chaos – and, like it or not, it will bring experience.  How we choose to face these things matters.  I am learning that more and more.

2020 comes with a lot on my plate.  I feel like we are at the cusp of so many things with Kiran – there is so much to figure out at this point.  Accessibility for him is going to be a big focus of mine this year.  He is growing and changing and requiring the same level of care.  In order to keep giving him the experiences in life I want for him, I have to adapt.  I have to take care of my own body – my back, especially – so I can continue to lift him (and his wheelchair), because it’s getting harder.  He needs an accessible home.  I need to start looking to the future for other equipment we may need in the home, because all of those things take time.  Insurance takes time.  And he’s growing and growing.

It’s daunting.  I find myself paralyzed with so much of it.  So my focus, at the start of this year, is to just take it one step at a time.  But to keep stepping.

You can’t get anywhere if you aren’t taking steps.  And the road is long.  And it matters.


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