I cannot remember the last time I had a day, in the middle of the week, with no Kiran. This week is his dad’s week for overnights both Tuesday and Wednesday nights, and with the cold today, we decided it was best for Kiran to just stay put at his dad’s house during the day today (when he would normally be in my care from 8 am to 5 pm).

The timing is good, because I need to blend. So I have spent the last three hours – and will likely spend approximately another hour and a half this afternoon – blending real food for Kiran’s g-tube.

In recent history, until today, this has been feeling like a chore for me. It is hard to find the time and brain capacity to make these blends. I tend to blend for approximately one month at a time and store in the freezer. I keep track of calories, protein/fat/carb percentages, and I try to make sure he is getting a good variety of foods.

Today, I am having fun with it and feeling very good about the variety in the blends. I am making 3 each of the following blends: breakfast, lunch, snack, and dinner. Each big blend makes 8 meals, so I will have 24 days’ worth of food once I’m finished.

In these 24 days, Kiran will have these fruits: applesauce, strawberries, mangoes, kiwi, grapes and cantaloupe. He will also have prunes (daily, in every snack blend) and raisins. He will have these vegetables: spinach, cabbage, carrots, broccoli/cauliflower/carrots in cheese sauce, and corn/carrots/peas/green beans. He will also have red peppers and avocado (fruits, ok). Protein includes: turkey, pork loin, garbanzo beans, and black beans. Also, peanut butter, cheese, and Greek yogurt (every day, stirred into his breakfast blend). I blend cereal and breakfast fruit bars, crackers, whole wheat tortilla shells, whole grain bread, sweet potatoes, etc.

I put my focus back on the variety this month, and I think it’s pretty well-rounded. He is getting far more fresh fruits and veggies than most oral-eating three year olds. I get stressed about this task sometimes, but I’m enjoying it today.

Maybe because there is literally nothing else I need to accomplish today. I don’t have to be anywhere. I don’t have to take breaks to entertain or feed Kiran. I don’t have other meal prep to do (last month, I made the mistake of trying to blend on a Saturday while also meal-prepping for our catering company). It’s just me and Christina Perri and Kelly Clarkson, and a blender.

All for my boy.