The big stuff always gets me, but sometimes, I still get thrown off by the small stuff.

Kiran’s preschool associate and teacher informed me today that his tube meal was harder to push in – and was pushing back a little more – than normal.  Honestly, I noticed it this morning, but I thought it was either the blend I was using (yogurt freshly stirred in, a new change) or the old syringes I am stretching to last a few more days.

But this.  This means I have to assess things.  Now that so many others – and new people – are learning and taking on the responsibility of the tube-feeding, I have to be sure this stuff is addressed right away.  If it was just me and his dad, we can forge our way through the difficulties and trouble-shoot.  Or change the button out, if it comes to that.

It is coming up on time to change to the new button anyway (And yes, I realize this USED to be a “BIG stuff”; now it’s been demoted), but we are going up in size this time.  Any change like that simply makes me more nervous.  True for any task.  I still don’t deal well with change – given the nature of my journey with Kiran, I think it’s fair to say I will never deal well with change, because I have certainly been given enough practice with it!

Anyway.  Might be doing a button change tonight.  We will see how things go and if I can get things flowing more smoothly with the one currently in place.

I wonder if maybe things currently in place in my entire life could just start flowing more smoothly?  Maybe?  2019?  Still hoping this will be my year.