Today has been tough.  I don’t know what part of me thought I could breeze through Kiran’s disability report for DHS to determine he is, in fact, still disabled, and therefore can stay on the health and disability waiver and get those services….

It took me a solid three and a half hours, and I still need to print some documents off and make copies of everything so the next time they decide I need to prove my son has a disability, it can maybe only take me two hours to do so.

It’s a harsh light to be put in, having to set out to prove to someone your child has a disability and needs services.  It’s not fun, sifting through the diagnoses and the list of specialists; having to dive deep into the part of your life you try to just tuck away so you can LIVE your life.

But it’s worth it.

And tonight, I got to watch Kiran live his life at the Help-A-Heart Christmas party at Courage League Sports.  That place?  Awesome.

Have you ever dreamed your child could run under a parachute while playing a game among friends?  I will be honest: it hadn’t occurred to me to grieve this experience for Kiran.  Only, I don’t have to.  Because tonight, I saw the people who work here (actually, it was the owner herself) run while pushing Kiran’s wheelchair underneath the parachute like he was just any other kid playing a game.

My heart grew three sizes.  Today was a grinchy day.  Today was a day I didn’t want our life.  And then.  I got to see my kid just playing and being a kid, thanks to these people who just know how to make that happen.  I’m still learning how to make it happen.

And the cherry on top?  I got him to smile for a picture on Santa’s lap.