Day three of preschool.  I am finding preschool drop-off to be the most difficult thing about this entire experience.  I know in the classroom, they are very good at including Kiran and facilitating friendships with his peers.  But *I* don’t know how to do that.  When all the kids are running around and playing tag and doing whatever most preschoolers do….

I am thankful – I do not feel Kiran is aware of his differences.  I don’t think his heart is breaking like mine is.

Even I feel so different.  I was brave the first day of school at pick-up and introduced myself to the two moms who were there first.  I haven’t introduced myself to anyone else yet.  And already, yesterday, I felt so outside the conversations they were having – “Of course she doesn’t like the doctor – you only go to the doctor when you’re sick!”

Yeah.  Our life is so different.

I know this is only our first not-even-full-week of preschool, but I just feel like I am failing at being the mom of a preschooler.  I just have no idea how to navigate this new area of his life.  I feel awkward all the time – I feel so outside.

I am hoping today helps.  It’s their fall party at the end of the day, and his dad and I are both attending.  Hopefully we will meet some other parents.  And hopefully my entire goal with his costume this year – to normalize the wheelchair and make it something fun for his peers – will be met.

I knew this transition would be harder for me than for Kiran.  He seems to be rocking it and loving it, and I am so thankful for that.