I have been holding this one close to the chest for about a week now, but, as is always the case eventually, the time has come for me to release the news and my feelings along with it.

Remember in my blog entry two weeks ago, when I so nonchalantly mentioned (when writing about the waiver spot Kiran finally got!) that he might possibly EVENTUALLY need a medical stroller or wheelchair?  Didn’t I sound so…stable around that idea?

That is because, in my mind, it was down the road.  In my mind, I’m not even sure when the time was going to come, but it certainly wasn’t now.  And then, as if my blog somehow released something into the universe, last week….

Kiran’s physical therapist said it is time to start considering ordering a wheelchair for him.

Do you know those moments in life that just sorta knock the wind out of you?  They pierce your heart in a way that can’t really be explained, because you’re feeling so many things at once?  Fear, uncertainty, heartache, shock….

I’ve had a week to wrap my head around it.  We have had positive conversations with both physical therapists now about what a wheelchair will do for Kiran – and yeah, it’s time.  They are right.

I don’t think I know yet how to express my feelings around it.  My feelings are mine to handle, and ultimately, they don’t matter.  We do what is best for Kiran.  Period.  Exclamation point!

That may be all I have to give today.  Still swallowing the pill.