Kiran is officially in the cath lab. I am a giant ball of anxiety. That is all for now. 

I did sleep tonight, from approximately 10:30 to 1:30, when Kiran decided he wanted a bottle. Now, I cannot quiet my mind. 

I just don’t know how I will find the strength to hand him over into the doctor’s hands later today. I have heard such wonderful things about the cath lab doctor, but it’s not enough to quell my anxieties. 

Granted, everything is very likely to go smoothly today. (And then my brain says: “but what if it doesn’t?”)  

I know Kiran is loved. I know so many of you (ok, all of you taking the time to read this) are praying for him, sending him good thoughts, pulling for him. I will do my best today, through all my emotions, to keep the blog updated.

My sweet, sleepy little prince. Or, as his daddy calls him, “the King of tribes”  He is my heart. 

  

 

Two weeks from yesterday, we will be taking Kiran to Iowa City for a cardiac catheterization.  They will get pictures and pressures of his heart to essentially create a map for surgery.

In a lot of ways, I am ready for this step.  This will be what will inform the surgical team of which surgery is appropriate for him in the near future.  We will finally know if he will require the shunt or if his pulmonary arteries are big enough that they can do the “full repair” surgery.  We are, of course, hoping for the latter – One open heart surgery would be far more ideal than two.

In a lot of other ways, I am terrified of this step.  I know a lot of experienced heart moms will say things like “Oh, it’s just a cath” because they’ve already been through open heart surgery and multiple cath procedures…but for this first time, it doesn’t feel like “just” anything.  I know there are risks involved, and I worry about my baby.  And I also worry about the results.  We always hope for good news, but the possibility of rough news lurks.

Please remember our family on March 15th around noon (We are second case of the day in the cath lab).  Send prayers, good vibes, positive thoughts, love, encouragement…we need it all!