What a privilege it is, that I get to hold all your disappointments. And you don’t have to.

Kiran was supposed to go with his first grade class to a pumpkin patch today. But he has pneumonia, so he’s missing it.

And I am SO disappointed he doesn’t get that experience this year.

But he has never given any indication that he feels disappointment. He is so present in the moment he’s in. So he doesn’t have to feel it. But boy, I do!

And that’s okay. This version of motherhood is different in this way. The positive is I don’t have to watch my baby boy feel disappointed. I don’t have to help him navigate that – at least not yet. Maybe someday.

But the negative? I hold it all myself.

But, watching his body struggle through this illness, I would take it from him without hesitation if I could.

And so, I am happy to take the disappointment. It is a privilege I have as Kiran’s mom.