Today is a day Facebook memories always reminds me to celebrate life. Literally, simply the act of being alive.

Seven years ago today, I was almost hit by a bus in Denver. I still don’t like to think about that scene for very long because I legitimately almost have a panic attack.

Five years ago today, Kiran’s dad and I were sitting with a maternal fetal specialist who was explaining Kiran’s heart diagnosis to us. Although he strongly encouraged us against it, it was his duty as a medical professional to give us abortion as an option. It wasn’t even a thought – simply a NO.

Life. In many ways, it has been hard to find the joy in living this year. 2020 has not been kind. But I have held true to what matters – faith, hope, love – but the greatest, of course, is love.

Tonight, I will be celebrating life by spending the first real time with Eric in over three months. Kiran will be spending a long Father’s Day weekend with his dad, although he has also been spending physically distanced time with Eric.

I am nervous. Again, restrict and protect is my language. But adding in calculated risk, when I know how careful Eric is being, is going to be important for our family. Eric works a catering event next weekend (He will be wearing a mask and physically distanced) that will prompt us to take 5-7 days apart once again, to ensure he doesn’t develop symptoms. So protection is still at the forefront of our minds when it comes to Kiran.

I never thought so much of life would be about assessing risk, but I suppose it always is…it just isn’t usually so much in the spotlight. I could choose to never go to Denver again or to never be near a bus…I could have chosen to end Kiran’s life before it even began because I was afraid of losing him…but some risks bring about incalculable joy (more the latter than the former – I’m good, Denver, leave me be).