Kiran and I attended a book launch party this weekend.  An Iowa author, pretty well known in the special needs community, as her books are geared toward our families, co-authored a book with Dr. Gary Chapman: Sharing Love Abundantly in Special Needs Families: The 5 Love Languages for Parents Raising Children with Disabilities.

I haven’t read the book yet.  I tear up, still, thinking about the awareness this book could bring to the need to come alongside our families and love us, especially within the church community.

But something the author, Jolene Philo, shared struck fear straight into my mama heart.  She shared about a couple who are still caregivers for their son, who is now in his mid-30’s but has an intellectual capacity of about a five year old.  One way this couple loves him well is they allow him to still get in bed with them in the mornings to snuggle, because, as a five year old, developmentally, this is what he needs to feel loved and safe within his family.

My initial reaction was basically losing my breath for a minute.  That image, of my own son, grown, needing to snuggle with his mama – it’s just not a typical image most people have to imagine.

And I try not to think too far into our future.  I have to hope that I will continue to grow as Kiran’s mama – as I have so far these past four years.  I have to trust this journey, day by day, with Kiran, will continue to prepare me to be the mom he needs as he grows.

It may take me a minute, but I *know* I can love Kiran that well.  And I know that, should that time come, I will continue to love Kiran well.  However he needs me to love him, I will be there.

It’s a long road ahead, but we journey together.