When I took Kiran to the ER a couple weeks ago due to my concerns, the ER Doctor said something that stuck with me: Eventually I would know Kiran better than any of the doctors or nurses. I would be able to tell them what his normal was and advocate for him, because I would know him so well. 

I’m maybe not fully there yet, but I am getting the hang of it.  I questioned our home health nurse this morning when she said she thought we should go to the ER. I wondered if maybe we could just go visit the doctor again. She was pretty certain, so I went with it. But I did question. 

And really, it is better safe than sorry with him. I know that. And I know he’s not himself. He is sick. But I also know he wasn’t in distress and was largely doing okay, holding his own. And it turns out, I was right in thinking so. 

But I do have the peace of mind knowing he’s been thoroughly checked out today. We do have another pacifier. And I did learn I need to count his respirations for a full minute at this age to get an accurate count. 

I’m glad I’ve learned to ask questions. I interrupted the doctor to ask what a medical term meant. I took my time and reached for questions when the RN was discharging us (this is how I learned how to properly count an infant’s respiration rate – I had been counting only to 30 seconds and doubling the number, but infants don’t breathe at a very steady pace so this is inaccurate).

And I spoke up when they were trying to decide where to stick him for an IV. Last time he had an IV put in (when we ended up being admitted), they tried his arm first and ended up having to stick him again to put it in his hand. So I told them that and saved Mr Kiran an extra poke. 

I am finding my way and earning the title Heart Mom. It’s still scary. I’m glad they sent us home, but he’s definitely not 100% and I’m watching him like a hawk. But I am finding my footing and feeling more confident in my knowledge of All Things Kiran.