My graduate clinical supervisor today told me (and I’m paraphrasing here) I am very much a mom to a complex kid. She said the way that I said Kiran is doing well and really, it’s “just” the daily care with him …

Just. No active parent/caregiver should ever minimize their daily responsibilities that way. And she reminded me of that.

She reminded me I probably don’t even think about or realize all of the tasks I do as a mom to Kiran. She reminded me of how far I’ve come on my graduate school journey, and she said a big reason why they chose me for this program is they see my grit and my passion because I am Kiran’s mom.

So. I didn’t quit grad school today. That’s a win.

That delicate balance I wrote about recently shattered in the face of an illness that had me in bed for days. I don’t do ill well, and I didn’t grieve the loss of my big birthday weekend well, and I spiraled a bit.

So. I reached out and made an appt with the online mental health counseling services my grad school provides. And I reached out to my supervisor and said “I’m struggling.”

And today, she reminded me there are options. She assured me there are backups if I can’t find a local adult placement. She assured me I could extend the program, if needed, thru summer or fall of 2025.

It’s not all or nothing – buck up or walk away.

And just hearing those options – and most importantly, feeling SEEN by her, as a mom who has a lot on her plate that many don’t see – made me feel better about it all.

And a wise, wise member of my cohort (so many also had words of encouragement for me a few days ago, when I was really struggling to find the light in my darkness) today told me she’s been asking herself this question lately: “What if I cared about school a little less and about myself a little more?”

Yes. What if.